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How to Tell If Your Aging Parent Is Asking for Home Care Support if They’re Not Saying It

Your mother is in her late 80s and you’ve been helping her with things around the house when you can. It makes you feel good to be there for her, but you know she’s slowing down and things are becoming more challenging for her on a regular basis. You worry about her when you are not there. You believe home care would be a great option, but she isn’t mentioning it.


Home Care for Seniors: How to Tell If Your Aging Parent Is Asking for Home Care Support if They’re Not Saying It

Home Care for Seniors: How to Tell If Your Aging Parent Is Asking for Home Care Support if They’re Not Saying It

You’re afraid to bring up the topic.

Maybe something happened in the past. Perhaps she became defensive, belligerent, and hostile if you or somebody else even talked about the prospect of hiring home care services. Maybe you feel that it is your duty as her child to take care of her. Now you may be playing the waiting game, sitting back and hoping for the best, even though you spend many sleepless nights wondering if she’s okay.


How can you tell if she is really open to the idea of a home care aide now?

One thing would be, is to ask. Simply asking begins to open a dialogue for having an honest discussion. You might be able to say to her, “Mom, is there anything you can think of that might help you feel more comfortable and safer at home?”


She might say you can stop by more often. But this is where you need to be firm if you have limits on your time, as most people do.


Your mother might say things like, “I wish somebody could help me take out the garbage, go to the store or get ready for the day in the morning.” If she is well aware of your limitations because of your job, family obligations, and other challenges, this could be her roundabout way of discussing home care without actually using those words.


If you’re worried about offending her, talk about the things she could do once again if she had optimal support and additional physical assistance. Some people believe that hiring a home care aide is not necessary because they have family and friends to help. However, they also spend much of the day alone, without assistance. Having a home care aide offer companionship as well as assistance around the home can give her the quality of life you are all looking for.


When you begin discussing things she could enjoy once more (with the right physical support) she may be more open to listening. Of course, she may assume you’re about to volunteer more of your time.  Segue into the topic of home care and the wonderful options and support an experienced and compassionate aide can provide, she may be more open to the idea. You may realize that she has been asking for home care support all along.


If you or a loved one are considering hiring home care for veterans, please contact the friendly staff at Veterans Care Coordination™. Call today: 1-855-380-4400

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Kyle Laramie

President?Owner at Veterans Care Coordination
After working in the field of occupational therapy, as well as various marketing, sales and management roles for both private duty nursing and assisted living providers, Kyle founded Veterans Care Coordination in April 2011. As president and owner of VCC, Kyle is driven by the memory of his grandfather. A World War ll veteran, he unnecessarily missed out on essential VA benefits because Kyle's family simply did not know about the opportunities that were available to assist him in his golden years.

Under Kyle's leadership, Veterans Care Coordination has become one of the fastest growing senior service companies in the United States. Partnering with health care providers throughout the U.S., VCC serves more than 1000 clients in 45 states. The company currently employs more than 65 professionals.

In January 2014, Kyle was named to the St. Louis Business Journal's prestigious "40 Under 40" list. The St. Louis Small Business Monthly also named him as one of the "100 St. Louisans to Know" in 2014. In 2015, Kyle was selected as one of ten national finalists for the 2015 Glenn Shepard Leadership Award. In addition, in September 2013 Veterans Care Coordination was honored by the St. Louis Small Business Monthly as one of the "Top 20" small businesses in the St. Louis area, in 2014 the company was honored as a finalist for Arcus Awards and by the St. Louis Post Dispatch for being a Top Workplace.

Kyle is an accredited claims agent by the Department of Veterans Affairs. He is a frequent speaker on the topic of veterans' benefits, addressing conferences such as the Home Care Association of America and the Northeast Home Care Conference. Kyle currently serves on the Board of Directors of the Mid-East Area Agency on Aging and has been previously involved with the St. Louis Chapter of the Alzheimer's Association. He resides in Lake St. Louis, MO with his wife and twin boys. In his spare time, Kyle is an avid tennis player.

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